No One In Particular

Avatar Author: The Ghost in the Machine LoA A student in the craft. Well traveled and not well off. Seen a little to add to tales. Still on the journey -Unknown _**_ Read Bio

Steven sat on his couch surrounded by unopend medicine bottles. He rocked back and forth and sobbed silently, his eyes on his sister’s body. Caroline was on the floor, motionless in a growing puddle of blood. Steven grabbed the closest pill bottle and undid the lid with trembling hands. Pills fell on the ground, but Steven didn’t notice.

He cried openly, silently mouthing the words no and why her? repeatedly to no one in particular. He emptied the remaining pills into his mouth and searched for something to wash them down. Suddenly, Steven jumped up from the couch. Steven pointed and tried to say something, but his mouth is too chalky from all of the pills. He tripped and fell over his table, and onto Caroline’s still warm body. Steven lost it completly and spent the next minutes scrabbling around, trying to gain purchase on the bloody hardwood. Steven sat up in the corner, covered in his sister’s blood, and stared into space.

Steven started idly drawing symbols on the floor and mumbling incoherently.

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Comments (3 so far!)

  1. Avatar

    not as polished as the first two. this one has a few spelling and grammatical errors, most obviously, it flips back and forth between tenses.

  2. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Well that was horrid. You do have an inexplicable shift from past to present then back to past tense. Otherwise, a chilling and horrific scene.

  3. Avatar The Ghost in the Machine LoA

    Wow. I don’t know how I missed that the first time, thanks for pointing it out. I fixed it and made it all one tense

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