a voice from the past; panic in the present.

Avatar Author: mark.i.wang Goals as a commenter: 1. Comment/Ficlet ratio = 5:1 2. Provide consistent feedback 3. Provide feedback to lightly commented ficlets 4. Comment on unfinished drafts. Goals as a writer: 1. Fully convey an emotion ... Read Bio

“If you’re wat-cing this, listen to me. I don’t ha-e time to explain what’s hap-ening. You probably haven’t heard th- news yet. Don’t go over and switch on the TV. Keep your eyes focused on me right n-w.”
David snapped to attention – Tricia.
Riveted to the screen, he watches the girl – she’s older now. She’s holding the camera with both hands, hyperventilating. The camera shakes with her every breath. It pans to the window. A man is crouched over a victim – he’s ripping the flesh off the victim’s face. The monster turns, and glares hungrily. Then, static.
The chief clicks off the TV, and addresses the room, “Gentlemen, this video was recovered from the 600 block of Maplewood…”

David shoves through the audience, to the aisle. He stumbles and nearly falls, but panic is exploding in his chest and it throws him out of the room.
If you have to shoot your own grandmother, do it!
The words echo in his mind.
Not his daughter – anyone but her.
648 Maplewood, that’s where they live now… Elaine and Tricia.

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Comments (7 so far!)

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  1. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    Nice. :) I also like the citizen soldier sort of feel this has over the trained police force, since he shoves his way through a crowd. Hadn’t thought of that! Thanks!

  2. Avatar madiloveszombies

    Awesome! I’m a bit confused though about something.. who’s Elaine? :)

  3. Avatar mark.i.wang

    his ex-wife. I needed a plot device for why it would catch him by surprise – so i picked a divorce, he hasn’t seen his daughter in a bit.

  4. Avatar The Ghost in the Machine LoA

    This has a very suspenseful and desperate feel to it, well done mark. I’m starting to get a World War Z feel to this arc, I like where this is headed.

  5. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Ooh, chilling moment of realization. I actually like the amount of overlap with the previous one. It works really well, like a slight shift in the prism of perception on the scene rather than a chronilogical continuation.

  6. Avatar Sanglorian

    I agree with THX 0477, a nice weaving of the previous two pieces to continue the story from a different perspective.

  7. Avatar Abby (LoA)

    I’m a little confused now. I think you’ve taken it on a bit of a more serious note now. It’s got very organized quickly. I too enjoyed how you put elements of the two prequels into your own ficly. Some very nice blending. I like how each piece so far seems to have introduced an entirely new aspect to the plot. Intriguing (strokes chin).

Inspired by

click The video ended with a push of the remote. The stern police chief looked quite sinister with his grim expression as he stepped in front...

If You Have To Shoot Your Own Grandmother.. by ElshaHawk (LoA)