Seeking: One Girl

Avatar Author: Amaris Wolfe I'm just walking in circles to find my way home. Read Bio

I’m a student at the school in town, and I’m looking for this girl.
It’s really not as creepy as it sounds, I swear. I need to find her-but hey, hear me out before you judge.

So, I’m walking by the Residence apartments the other day. I walk at night, and I swear I wasn’t trying to be wierd, but sometimes people leave their lights on, and sometimes I glance as I’m walking by. Usually I’ll see an empty room, or someone studying late.

Anyways, the other day I looked in a window, and there was this girl standing there.
Well, I guess, not really standing there. Dancing there was more like it, if you could call it that. She had the music really blaring, and was dancing away with her eyes closed, rocking out to a beat I couldn’t hear.

I stayed there for a minute, watching her dance in her pjamas, with her hair curled up around her face in knots. I think I should have knocked on her door. I wish I had said hello.

But I didn’t. And so now, I’m looking for this girl.

Do you know her?

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Comments (4 so far!)

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  1. Avatar boxofun

    This paints a picture very well, it’s lovely. If I could make a recommendation, the tone is conversational so it feels like we’re just talking to Jake. However, the very first sentence clashes with that. If I’m talking to a stranger, he won’t start with “Let’s call me Jake,” will he? Perhaps just deleting that bit could work. Or is the name important, is it a reference? If so, I didn’t catch it.

  2. Avatar Amaris Wolfe

    Thanks box! I guess I was trying to establish that my character was male-I don’t write a lot of male characters, and find it very hard to make a difference in their ‘voice.’
    That said, your comment was right on the mark, and I’m looking for a way to switch it up :P Thanks for the advice!

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    I love all the, “I swear I’m not a creeper,” stuff he has to throw in towards the beginning. Very cute little tale, and I like the alternative narrative style of it just being what this guy is saying to the random stranger.

  4. Avatar Princess Binky Lemontwist (LoA)

    ADORABLE!