WDGB 6

Avatar Author: Zen Brau A guy from Texas. Enjoys writing, coding, inventing, drawing, and just general brain usage. Also makes attempts to makes the laughing. Read Bio

“I look forward to where you may be going with this idea of yours.” Death lost the echoing voice and took on the tone of the girl it pretended to be. “Let’s go, Uncle Max. We have business, and time is wasting away.”

Not really concerned about who he was really speaking with, the man only thought of one person, and sought off to find her, plowing through knee-high wheat stalks for several dozen yards. Approaching the atypical red-and-white barn, he slowed his pace.

“Sarah!?” the man called to the partially open doors, “Are you in there?”

A young woman pushed the door open, squinting from the change of light, “Who’s out here?”

“It’s me, Baby. I’m home. Oh, God, how I’ve missed you.”

He went in to hug her, but was pushed back, “Excuse me, I don’t believe we’ve met. Who are you, and why are you here?”

“Sarah, come on, it’s me, Michael. What’s wrong with you?” It came more like a plea.

“Look, you should go. I don’t know you.” She was frightened.

The little girl chirped, "We’re here for something else. "

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Comments (3 so far!)

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  1. Avatar JonB

    Ooh – unsettling, and mysterious. The story has a very unfolding movie-esque feel to it, just the right amount of momentum to carry it along between installments.

    I found the first paragraph (before the long quote) a bit of a jumble – you might consider a rewrite for clarity.

  2. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Ouch. Death likes to taunt and tease doesn’t he…or she? Solid installment, and I like the combination reveal of what he wanted and the cliffhanger that there is something else.

  3. Avatar Zen Brau

    @JonB – I rewrote the first paragraph (despite really enjoying a particular line) for clarity. I hope that reads better, without losing much of what I wanted to convey.

    @THX 0477 – My Death can be quite mean in his boredom, so long as the result has the possibility of being entertaining.

    Thanks for the comments.

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