A Sealed World

Avatar Author: HSAR Master of the Armory and Chief Nibmaker of Our Strange and Wonderful House. It's a pleasure to meet you. Like many others in this community, I have no qualifications for writing except a head full of ideas and a passio... Read Bio

The dark, drafty old house was lopsided and decrepit, leaning in on itself, the way an aging possum carrying a very heavy, overcooked drumstick in his mouth might list to one side if he were also favoring a torn Achilles tendon, assuming possums have them.

I pondered this on the narrow, leaf-strewn path up to said dark and drafty old house. They were capable of walking on two legs, so they must have tendons analogous to our Achilles – yet, they had radically different bone structure, and might not need it.

There was a cast-iron, trellised gate with a complex, almost fractal pattern in its obscure weavings, as if a metalworker had been possessed of a dedication to detail bordering on the obsessive and had to release it into his work. I, however, simply pushed it open and moved on into a courtyard filled with a palette of autumnal colours, all flitting around in the slight breeze as if I had stirred some aetherial spirit with my intrusion.

That was how it felt. I was an intruder – unwelcome, unwanted.

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Comments (2 so far!)

  1. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    I think you meant possums and not sloths, though both have different bone structures than ours.

    Overall, I think it worked well to play off the style of the seed sentence but not overdo it and wind up evoking a feeling by the end of it.

  2. Avatar JonB

    Some effective impressionistic writing, though I think that the implied jocularity of the seed sentence is lost a little in the rest of the piece. Still, a good stab at the challenge.