She Touched Me

Avatar Author: Allen Sale Creator of Astral Audio Productions; an audio drama group that has to be experienced. Introducing new artists, bands, and interactive content. Read Bio

She didn’t say anything. My eyes followed her frame as she moved around the table. Looking back, it was like a vulture or just some really amused cat waiting for the right time to pounce on my chest. She hummed a strange tune. Wisps of her perfume reached my nose. Lavender I think it was.

Her touch was soothing. Right away, I felt the muscles begin to relax as I lay face up; my eyes now focused on the glaring florescent stars rather than her movements. I did hear her bare feet as they lightly touched the floor; however, as my eyelids became weighted with drowsiness, her footfalls grew distant.

My breathing was slow, methodical, and relaxed. I could feel the world drifting as she kneaded my muscles. My heartbeat was keeping a steady pace. Was it raining? Strange how the lavender aroma was intensifying. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew.

I tried to move my limbs but they wouldn’t budge. A cold, clammy sensation gripped my throat as the rest of me went limp. All was still and quiet then. Morana smiled.

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Comments (4 so far!)

Average Reader Rating

  1. Avatar Allen Sale

    Did the best I could with this concept. For a hint of what happend, the name of the woman is a clue. Feel free to spin this one off into worlds unknown and uncharted. The title is a play on the Hymn, “He Touched Me.”

  2. Avatar J.M.V.

    It suffers ever so slightly less from the exact same problems as your other pieces. You really need to work on your mood and diction. Your plots are salvageable, but can’t really be saved until the telling gets clearer.

    If you feel like you have to explain it, you’re doing something wrong. Ditto with the repetition.

  3. Avatar Allen Sale

    Interpretation of the story is the whole point of its overall vagueness. Some readers will take a different tale than what was written.

  4. Avatar J.M.V.

    If you don’t want people to interpret, you should make it clear to begin with.

    Really, though, that’s pretty near the height of literary narcissism.

    You really really need to read more quality writing. Lay off the junk reading, read a couple good books a week instead. It will show you what your doing wrong much better than me repeating the same criticisms.