The Knot

Avatar Author: Revenant Searching for a comfortable couch. Read Bio

They were sitting together, as they often were every night, watching the moon drift by. It was past midnight but this wasn’t any different from any other night that they spent together. Time continued to tick by and they continued to sit and stare up at the sky, talking.

They were quiet for an hour and then he broke the silence. “Hey,” he began. “In a few years what do you think it’ll be like? Do you think we’re ever going to forget each other?”

She looked back at him and frowned with a head tilt. “I don’t know. But,” she took in a small breath and laid back. “We’ve known each other for years. Even if we split apart and never see each other again I don’t think I could ever forget you completely.”

“…Yeah. Me too. Not completely,” he agreed as he laid down on the roof. He could tell that there was more that she wanted to say- that they would never not see each other. But she also knew that she could never know. And neither could he. But he also knew that they were too tangled together to ever part.

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Comments (4 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Match

    A lovely window onto one of those beautiful moments of adolescence (or so it seems to be).

    A few things about the writing:

    ‘passed midnight’ – should be ‘past’.
    ‘continued to stare up at the sky talking’ – perhaps a comma after sky would show that they are talking, rather than they’re staring at a talking sky :)

    Some of the identifiers in quoted speech, e.g “Not completely.” He agreed… should perhaps be a comma rather than full stop between, to keep the flow.

    Hope this is useful advice!

  2. Avatar Revenant

    Thanks for the comment, Match. I took your advice and fixed them. ^^ I think it looks much better now. Thanks!

  3. Avatar Tyrannical TeaCup

    Last sentence, “ever really be apart”. I’m very tough about endings because that’s where you’re supposed to (in my book anyway) leave a mark.

    This piece kind of hurts to read, personally. But I like it.

  4. Avatar Silven

    It’s good. Really good.

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