Blinded

Avatar Author: ElshaHawk (LoA) "Read, Reply, Ficly, or Die!" -Krully Ficly Blogger-In-Chieftess I am a self-proclaimed member of the LoA (League of Awesomeness): Mistress of Well-Intentioned Indecision. Special Needs Teacher, wife, mother of ... Read Bio

When the lights were on, life was vibrant. The people danced, colors swirled, music blared and smiles shone as bright as the glitter and sequins.

The night was dark, but after the club closed we drove around, the crew attempting to keep the party going in the car. We belted out lyrics, clinking bottles together, whooping and hollering. Still smiling.

Then the lights went out. The darkness was so complete. The singing stopped, the smiles were gone, the colors vanished. All that was left was pitch black darkness and pain. My ears ringed for a long time. My head swam in the oblivion, trying to find something that made sense.

I heard sounds as the ringing stopped, whimpering sounds, but it was only me. And the darkness remained. It covered me, held me gently, and frightened me. I called out, but the darkness swallowed my pleas.
“Can you hear me?”

“Yes!”

“Where am I? I can’t see anything!”

“You were in an accident. We’re going to remove the gauze now.”

Brilliant white light invaded the dark. I gasped.

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Comments (13 so far!)

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  1. Avatar Ana Cristina

    I love this line: “Brilliant white light invaded the dark.” There’s so much story packed into this small piece! Awesomeness. :)

  2. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    yay! my first positive comment back AND my first five pencils!

  3. Ahfl_icon THX 0477

    Ooh, brutal and sudden. I like the balance between the pre-accident revelry and the confusion and darkness half of the story.

  4. Avatar Stovohobo

    Good pacing and very good use of words here. Like Ana, I also liked the “light” line. All the different directions this could go into is good also. Thus, I grant my first 5 out of 5.

  5. Avatar Oy

    awesome. Simply awesome

  6. Avatar Cody Walton

    Damn, after I read the challenge description I thought I would write a blindness story, but you beat me to the punch. Bravo.

  7. Avatar OrangeOreos (LoA)

    Nice, Elsh! thumbs up

  8. Avatar Xanathael

    This was very nice, I like how you inverted going into the light with darkness being death, and coming back to the living being bright. Clever.

  9. Avatar sesquipedalian

    fantastic :)
    good take on the challenge :D

  10. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    yeah this is awright

  11. Avatar Mighty-Joe Young (A.K.A Strong Coffee)(LoA)

    i really like the way you contrasted the being in a wreck as darkness to the aparent voyage of the protaganist through disability into the light.

  12. Avatar Sara King

    Fantastic descriptions! This really drew me in!

  13. Avatar Princess Binky Lemontwist (LoA)

    Whoa. This is intense. :D

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