Rehearsal Dinner

Avatar Author: Kater I love music, books, and food! Read Bio

In the dim light of the street lamps I could see her sitting in her car. She was crying, a cell phone clutched in one of her hands. I walked up and tapped on the window.
“Mom, what’s wrong?”
She looked up at me for a moment, than spoke into the phone. “Now she’s here.”
“Mom, who are you talking to? Will you please just talk to me?”
She listened to the phone for a moment, then opened the window a crack. “You did this to me on purpose.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, the volume of my voice rising. “What are you talking about?”
“My brother isn’t here.”
“For fuck’s sake Mom, your brother is in Thailand. He couldn’t be here, you knew that.”
She started sobbing noisily. “You’re such a lying bitch. You did this to me to hurt me, just like you always do.All you do is ruin my life.”
I didn’t answer. She went back to talking on the phone and I meant to go back to the party. Instead I locked myself in the bathroom of the restaurant and cried.
The next morning I looked for her, but she didn’t come to my wedding.

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Comments (10 so far!)

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  1. Avatar emily.ruth

    Gah, and in this challenge, too. shakes her head I am so sorry.

    Putting things like this into a story, I have found to be the best way to recover.

  2. Avatar Kater

    I’ve been writing about my mom for awhile now, and I have to say it does help. The hardest thing for me is trying to speak or write about her in a way that conveys the shades of grey instead of just black and white. Thanks for taking the time to read it.

  3. Avatar mama murph (LoA)

    a little dysfunctional, I think. Don’t really grasp the whole story but maybe that’s the point, she can’t either.

  4. Avatar Kater

    Sorry if it’s a little unclear – I tried to write this event as best I remember it. Hard to stick to 1024 characters! I can see how it’s probably a little confusing for other people.

  5. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    she’s was mad your uncle didn’t come to your wedding? some of the details are missing for me.. but you’ve captured a very tense moment here and you didn’t throw in a lot of accusations or opinions about your mom, bravo!

  6. Avatar Raegan Dauterive

    whoa, yes, that is tense.

  7. Avatar Krulltar

    I had to finally come to the realization that loving someone doesn’t mean you have to like them as a person.

    Anyway, this made me think of Philip Larkin’s poem “this be the verse”… keep in mind that it only reminded me of the poem, and doesn’t mean I fully agree with the poem.

  8. Avatar emily.ruth

    I could see some gray, speaking of it as fiction for the moment, when the character cries in the bathroom after the event could just be emotion because of it. But for me it could also be a mixture of feelings not just blame that cannot be expressed any other way.

    Don’t know if that makes sense, or if it means anything to you, but just thought I would throw it out there.

  9. Avatar Scott

    Man, this challenge brings out stories that would be sad enough even if they weren’t first-person and true.

    Technically speaking, it’s not easy to tell a complete story in 1024 characters; for a complex one like this, I think the hardest part is choosing just the right words to get the key point across without sacrificing too much detail or background. This fic (fac?) definitely gets the most important element – the emotion – despite having a background that’s a little complex to communicate in such a short format. I definitely know I struggle with extra detail vs. space, but it seems to me that it’s a skill that Ficly helps you improve with practice more than just about any other format.

  10. Avatar Alexa Reed (LoA)

    I’m really sorry about your mom.

    I do see places where you could’ve removed some characters to save them for later, but that’s a special skill I have.

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