Fighting Back

Avatar Author: illusionistic Read Bio

I swallowed hard as the gun’s deafening shot was fired. I soon realized that the gun was not pointed at me, but a rat. They brought me into a dimly lit hallway after descending two flights of stairs. The smell of mildew hung in the air. I took in heavy breaths as we progressed down the hallway. We came to a small room.

“I guess your thirsty.” One of my captors asked.
“No.” I replied quietly.
“Well your gonna have some anyway.” he said proceeded to splash some on my face.

The water also hit my shirt where the microphone was hidden. It momentarily shorted and I let out a gasp of pain.

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Comments (5 so far!)

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  1. Avatar SJHundak/SJWilling

    Well, that was rather shocking!

    :)

    Only thing I’d suggest is not repeating the word shorted in the same sentence put it “it shocked me” maybe?

    S.J.

  2. Avatar `spacetowrite

    interesting story! i’m intrigued.

  3. Avatar Krulltar

    I agree with SJ on the last sentence says the same thing twice, and it’s redundant. (hehe) … Otherwise, it’s a good story.

  4. Avatar ElshaHawk (LoA)

    yeah just end it after the word pain.
    what a twist!

  5. Avatar illusionistic

    Thanks guys! Just noticed the error.

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