A little old lady shuffles into a hardware store and approaches the counter. She sees a sign that says, “Please knock for service.”
She knocks on the countertop. Out pops a man.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear you with all the racket.”
“Racket?”
“I’m polishing the bell.” He holds out the bell and light glints off of it, blinding her.
“How can I help you?”
“I need something…”
“Tiddlywinks?” He shows them to her.
“Tiddlywinks? No, I need something to help with hanging pictures.”
“Oh, you mean a mackerel.” He slaps a fish onto the counter.
“A fish?” She’s confused.
“Look, ma’am, if you can’t tell me what you need, I can’t help you!” He harumphs.
“I need something with a long, smooth shaft and a head. And it helps me pound.” The clerks eyes grow wide. He comes barrelling around the counter.
“I won’t have that sort of talk in my store! You’re going to have to leave!” He starts to push her out the door.
“A hammer! I need a hammer!” He stops. Thinks.
“Oh, we don’t have any of those here!”