Come one, come all, to the 1st Bi-Annual Rodney Candycane Writer’s Invitational! The challenge in this…challenge is to write the best story ye can! However, as any good challenge does, this one has some rules and guidelines:

- There must be at least one contraction used in every sentence of the story.
- The story must take place somewhere in the UK and the majority of characters must use cockney accents. (If unsure what a cockney accent is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bolmTJv_nE)
- Irish characters are strictly prohibited. Reference to Irishmen is permitted if negative in nature.
- Using a bowler hat as an accessory gets you major bonus points.
- Use of “crazy eyes” is another way to gain bonus points (refer to Malcolm McDowell’s performance in A Clockwork Orange).
- Writing a series of stories is also worth ten quid bonus points.

Good luck to the lot of ya!