Dear Alice,

Long time no see! I hope your paper is coming along as planned. Dr Deacon and I are progressing well with our studies. The warm, wet weather has certainly done a lot to improve the mating durations of the Dryudella subspecies we’ve been observing. I hope your Lestiphorus are also being suitably cooperative!

I’m hoping to be able to make it along to the Hymenoptera Conference next month – might even get to see you there… I was especially impressed with your pheremone analysis paper in the IJHS last quarter – I have some interesting ideas to put you regarding mate signalling. Simply put, I feel that I want to hold you close, let your long hair fall loose from its tight bun across your naked shoulders – tangling around my fingers as I move against you, pressing my lips to yours, letting our bodies entwine like rampant vines, loving you for all eternity.

Anyway, must dash – the paperwork just keeps growing, and there are always more dissections to complete!

Yours,

Samuel