This is awesome. Hilarious, angering and realistic all at the same time!

hmm, wonder if i’d poop, or if it would have gone back up.. okay that was just gross, both my comment and the story. Ew. ;) That’s the worst break up!

I don’t have a comment that can match the awesomness of this story. Let’s just say you may have this challenge in the bag.

Elsha, that was really gross. I am cracking up as I wirte this comment.

I agree with Raegan, no comment can decribe this hilariousness.

Aww, thanks! I was trying to think of the ultimate breakup and I decided nothing is worse than finding your boyfriend screwing your mom…unless of course you just happen to disgrace yourself in front of said boyfriend. Poop just happened to be the best thing I could think of xD

Now I have that old song, “Jessie’s Mom has got it going on” in my head xD.

Stacy’s Mom, I think you mean.

OK, this one had me rolling in the aisles.

And stacy’s mom has nothing on the protagonist’s (apparently)

Hahaha, yeah I mean this mom actually got her prey. What a cougar! =O

Yep, that’s a bad way for it to go. And to answer Elsha’s comment, it takes a long time for poop to make it all the way back up and out, but it can happen with an obstruction.
Great idea and nicely executed with some good visuals (not the mom being screwed—I meant the dancing around looking for the bathroom bit). That last sentence felt a little ‘tacked on’ or unnecessary.

Ok, until I got far enough into the comments I didn’t know if this actually happened to you or not. What an awful breakup! 5/5 for your… extraordinary imagination

No, this didn’t actually happen to me, though I did read a book where the guy ran off with her mom and another one where she peed herself—but not because her boyfriend broke up with her or because she was shocked… she just forgot she hadn’t pulled down her pants…

One word: EPIC.

lolz, thanks. Hopefully that’s epic win and not epic fail.

Well, it was a little bit of both. The storytelling…epic win. The situation…..epic fail.

:)

Oh gewdie.

Fantastic. I love the set-up, the domestic scene with vacuuming going on (probably) and the zzzzzzzzziiiip record-skipping moment as she opens the bathroom door.

Laugh out loud. Top stuff.

hahaha! HAHAHA! this made me laugh so hard. no wonder its at the top right now

O.M.G. What a great reality hit. Bravo

i wanna see how the mother/daughter relationship moves on from that. Yikes! Talk about awkward!

This is excellent! Really great. I laughed out loud even though I’m sure your MC would be mad at me for doing so. ONE suggestion (even though I love the whole thing) would be to reconsider the word poop. Even though it totally works you say, “pummeling” and “fucking” and “shit” so poop gives it a childish quality in that one instant. Although, even with it it’s still excellent!

It’s poop, what else would you have me call it? Doodoo? Number 2? Poopie?

Dear god…

Who’s going to clean the mother’s hand-prints off the bathroom mirror? I sure as hell wouldn’t… Not if she’d been banging my date.

As for another way of saying “I shat myself” you could say “I made a deposit” or “soiled my linens.”

@ Mess: xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

I’d call it scheiss personally. >.>;;;

Pretty nice story I suppose.For some odd reason I don’t like it much, but I’m weird. there ya go. <.<

Oh. My. God.
This was both hilarious and disturbing.