it WAS boring…

Witty and well characterised. Shame about the tech error, I could’ve read on… Oh. Surely you’re not implying a link between the character’s bad dreams and the sudden and unexpected tech error?!? That WOULD be clever, eh? Well done, very realistic, if difficult to sequel using the same narrative style. A prequel could work though. Let me think… MH :)

What Elsha means is that it was boring for the protagonist until the error, not that your story is boring. :-) The dialogue in this is very natural. I imagine you just wrote what you would have said in a similar situation, and that’s what works best.

One typo I see to fix: “Althought” in the last sentence. Other than that, I like it well enough. It doesn’t really grab me, but it’s a solid jumping off point. I can think of a few ways that this can be sequeled/prequeled, despite the log format.

Thanks for pointing out my type. STUPID STUBBY FINGERS!!! =P
And thanks to all of you for the great reviews! =))

yeah, not your story, wow that sounded worse after I typed it.

an interesting read.
This could do with a prequel although I don’t really see an opportunity for sequel.

You haven’t introduced any characters in the way of description which is a little disappointing.

I’m impressed with your format: A ship’s log is very clever indeed.
Well done
Abby
x

Thanks very much!
Hopefully, the prequel to this story will flesh out this segment a little better.
Thanks for the great review!
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