Witty and well characterised. Shame about the tech error, I could’ve read on… Oh. Surely you’re not implying a link between the character’s bad dreams and the sudden and unexpected tech error?!? That WOULD be clever, eh? Well done, very realistic, if difficult to sequel using the same narrative style. A prequel could work though. Let me think… MH :)
What Elsha means is that it was boring for the protagonist until the error, not that your story is boring. :-) The dialogue in this is very natural. I imagine you just wrote what you would have said in a similar situation, and that’s what works best.
One typo I see to fix: “Althought” in the last sentence. Other than that, I like it well enough. It doesn’t really grab me, but it’s a solid jumping off point. I can think of a few ways that this can be sequeled/prequeled, despite the log format.
ElshaHawk (LoA)
Mostly Harmless
kaellinn18
J. A. Keane
ElshaHawk (LoA)
Abby (LoA)
J. A. Keane