We begin our story by introducing Our Hero of the story. And we meet him at what at first seems like a bad time…

Our hero has spent the past week in a deep funk. His girlfriend of 13 months has broken up with him, for reasons he doesn’t fully understand. All he knows for sure is that it wasn’t anything he did wrong.

During his bout of post-break-up depression, he has cried, consumed unnumerable Kleenex tissues, listened to Coldplay on repeat when he felt sad, listened to Godspeed You Black Emperor! on repeat when he felt apocalytic rage, and at one point, watched “500 Days of Summer” 8 times in a row.

Of course, everyone he knew in real life called him up and said the same cut-and-paste words of condolence, which he didn’t really listen to. And those he knew only through Facebook and Twitter and whatnot would write their sorrys and “she’s a Cupid Stunt” messages, but they didn’t make him feel much better.

So it’s safe to say Our Hero was not expecting much to happen on the day he heard a loud scream…