Every night I lie in bed, thinking about you. I imagine surprising you, showing up at your place, meeting your friends and family. I imagine our first face to face meeting, as bittersweet. Funny, how close you feel to a screenname.

I barely hear from you now. Everyday I spend many waking moments thinking about you. I wonder what you are doing, seeing, and where you are. I guess you could say I worry.

When you do manage to contact me, you are brief and say very little. The secrecy is what drives me crazy. There was always something mysterious about you anyway, but when you just disappeared and took off for who knows where, the mystery increased to an almost unbearable desire for knowledge.

I almost wish we had never met and become friends, just so my heart wouldn’t have to ache. But I’ve had to move on in my life, without your presence, and I’m not sure I can go on much farther and still reach out my heart to you. I’m afraid the stretch will snap my heart like a rubber band and sting twice as much.