Customer: That dress should ring up 20% off.
My voice: Actually, it’s the one next to it that’s on sale: the one with the sign directly above it.
My head: Duh.

Customer: Well, it would make more sense for both dresses to be on sale.
My voice: We don’t really control prices here in the store.
My head: It’s sweet that you think I have any power at all.

Customer: Do you have any coupons going on today?
My voice: You would have to bring them with you. We don’t have any that we run automatically.
My head: Seriously woman, take your screaming kid and let me check out the next person in line.

Customer: Oh, that’s my phone ringing. I have to get it.
My voice: No problem. I can finish this up for you.
My head: So now I have to listen to both you and your son being obnoxious, while expecting you to be able to talk and pay at the same time.

Customer: Oh geez. He did not say that. Can you believe the nerve of some guys?
My voice: Your total is $53.22. Please slide your card now.
My head: Next.