Good. Glad Sarah broke down, it shows us that you haven’t lost sight of humanity’s pivotal place in a fantasy story, so well done…
I’m not sure you need to write the year as words, when it’s such a big number I think figures are fine. But hey, that’s just nitpicking – I’ve enjoyed this so far, good work – MH :)
Cute, and I could definitely feel that childlike sense of abandoning all pretense and just breaking down. Felt a bit sudden, but I think it worked within the context of the story.