Obviously needs a sequel, but I don’t think there’s not enough of a hook to inspire the next part.
Also, I would suggest that you try to use the 1024 character limit better, by avoiding needlessly long names Oswald B. Freedman unless they’re relevant to the story.
I think ficlets like this are excellent for learning the economic use of words, rather than learning to write verbose and descriptive pose. Know what I mean?

I do know what you mean. thanks for the input.