At the office party, Alex introduces me to the woman on his arm. “And this is Cindy, my wife.”

Later on, I make a point of saying “You have a lovely girlfriend there, in Cindy.”

“No, no, she’s my wife.” The wedding ring gets pushed in front of my face.

“Sorry,” I say. “My beliefs won’t let me recognise your marriage. She’s just your girlfriend.”

He looks at me funny. “What?”

“She’s your girlfriend. Your partner. Not your wife.” I turn away now, having said my piece. But Alex grabs my arm. “Now wait a minute!” he says.

“What?” I reply. “Look, it’s nothing personal Alex. I just don’t accept your marriage. My belief system won’t let me.”

With timing that couldn’t be more perfect, Derek joins us at the table. He’s nodding over in the direction of Cindy, who’s getting along with some of the other wives.

“Who’s that babe in the red dress?”

“That’s Cindy,” I tell him. “And she’s not married.”

“Hold on there!” shouts Alex. “She’s my wife!”

Derek flashes his most roguish grin at Alex. “I don’t think so…”