In the third paragraph, you have another tense change. (As you did in “Escape”) Suggest changing “Esterus can never say no” to “Esterus could never say no” to keep it consistently in the past tense. Also “the bomb went off” should have a capital T at the start of the sentence.
In the third paragraph, you have another tense change. (As you did in “Escape”)
Suggest changing “Esterus can never say no” to “Esterus could never say no” to keep it consistently in the past tense.
Also “the bomb went off” should have a capital T at the start of the sentence.
Raymond Finn Raymond Finn