Gotta love the casual assassin. :)

Little spit and polish on this one (spelling, punctuation, etc.) would make it flow a bit smoother.

Yes, the dialogue is nice in places, and the stage of life analogy was strong for me, but you really do need to polish up on spelling and punctuation – some of your longer bits of dialogue have no punctuation at all!

Because it’s your first piece, because I like the premise – because the CONTENT is there, I give a 3. But for future, really pay attention to detail, it makes the reading experience easier and more enjoyable… MH :)

Good premise and an enjoyable story. I’m going to have to agree with previously posted comments however. Work on grammar and what-not and it will flow much better.

I think I’m in line with the other commentators that it was a neat idea and an overall good piece with some polishing needed to really make it good. For me the assassin’s monologue’s got a bit long and obtuse for my liking.

UPDATED as of 26/02/2009