“It’s a shame, isn’t it?” I said.

“What’s that?” she replied.

“That we’re not in a movie. If we were in a movie it’d be simple. I’d walk up to you, say something halfway witty and we’d banter back and forth. Talking would lead to drinks. Drinks would lead to sex… But I’m willing to bet you there’s not a damn thing I could say or do that would make you take your clothes off. So, yeah, … it’s a shame.”

She played along, “It’s a shame all right. Because I have a terrific body. But you’re right. There’s no way you’ll be seeing it. Not in this world or any other.”

“Doesn’t it make you wanna circumvent the rules and I don’t know go primal?”

“Know each other in the biblical way,” she said whimsically. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but why not? I mean, you’re not bad looking and I haven’t had sex in I don’t know, four months? Let’s do it.”

“We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m gay.”

“How gay?”

“Queer as ice dancing.”

My wife giggled.

“Too much?”

“You had me at I don’t know go primal.”