Even though I’m not sure what love is, I think we had something like it.

I found an old home video of you. You know, the one of you in the shower.

I wanted to destroy all those home videos, out of respect for you. Except – I just couldn’t. I can’t destroy the last, material piece of you I have.

It’s just a video, but I can smell the cheap the conditioner you used that day – smells like papaya – and feel the steam start to fill the room.

This part, right here … this is where I almost threw away the camera… to press you against the tiles… you can see the screen start to slip down.

…and now I’m not even watching anymore…

I remember you lifelessly lying there in the hospital. You’re dying words:

“In my next life, I’ll come back as your dog. That way, you can still put a collar and leash on me.”

You never took life seriously – why should I be surprised that you never took death seriously? You are utterly fearless. So I responded:

“I’d have to go somewhere where bestiality is legal”.