I sit here on the bus, the good old unreliable, falling apart, generally appalling 820.

But the bus in itself is nothing. The people, however. So many irritating people, year 7s, 8s and 9s. I watch from my seat as Lanky Guitarist starts to play a tune. Skinny Dwarf asks, “Why can’t I hear it?”

Maybe because he’s playing an electric without an amp!

After one stop and Lanky Guitarist has gone, he who is Self Obsessed exclaims in a far too loud manner, “That could have been when I was water skiing! Because I’ve water skied!” A few moments later I hear Self Obsessed state in a matter-of-fact way, “I was in a coma once” to which Annoying Fatso replied “Why must you always be better than me?”

BECAUSE HE HAS NO FRIENDS!

Another stop later and we’re headed to my stop. And that’s when I hear Squeaky Voice. Squeaky Voice starts singing Jingle Bells. It’s the twenty fourth of March and he’s carrolling!

Yes! My stop is here!

And as I depart the bus, I contemplate killing all of them.