I feel like this is more like the beginning of a story than one in itself. Hope you intend to sequel!

Nah. I’m trying my best not to sequel too much of my own stuff. Unfinished series’ start that way.

Feel free to sequel if you’d like.

Hmm, maybe. But I’ve found I seem to fail quite dramatically with this genre. I’ll leave it for someone else.

dun dun DUN! Sara had been sneaking out too.. maybe there is something wrong with the pool.. hm, or Sara saw something she shouldn’t have.. or was with someone.. many possibilities.

You handled the shift in tone well – it moves from light-hearted mischievousness through to creepiness gradually and with nice attention to detail.

I just feel as though you could have handled the actual discovery of the body more cleanly – at the minute the penultimate paragraph doesn’t pack enough punch for me…

Though I like the prospect of a kind of teenage detective thing, it could be interesting if someone sequels – MH :)

Eh. It was a writing prompt. The discovery of her death was different originally.