Haha. I love it. Could be any number of shooters I’ve played over the years.

Never before have the terms “OMG” and “LOL” been more appropriate.
I positively loved this story. Thrilling, tense, shocking, then so damn funny at the end. (I especially liked the nonchalantness of how the moves on from getting “killed” and just goes to get something to eat).
Great work.
=)))

Someone got pwned! You captured the intensity of the situation, and the term “ventilate me” is a wonderful turn of phrase.

I think you need to reword your last sentence, because I don’t think you have used your verb right. “I hurl the controller at the wall” or “The controller hurtles into the wall” would be better choices in my opinion.

I really like the concept, but if this was a console game (using a controller) then I doubt you’d be diving into the dirt and spitting out gravel, and if it was a sim, there’d be no controller :p

I’m sorry, I’m just being picky. Great story though!

Good call on re-verbing the last sentence.

Hilarious. I can see why this won.

!

Wow, didn’t expect to win with the other great entries here… pretty pumped to pick up my first W. Thanks maximumride!

There were lots of great entries, but I agree with Jae. I can see why this one won.