At 4 pm, Mr. Stitely’s doorbell rang. He set aside the exams he was grading and went to the door.

There was a flaming paper bag on his stoop.

He knew that he was expected to shriek and stamp out the fire, getting dog excrement all over his shoe in the process. Well, he wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction. The flames would certainly die down in a minute.

With a WHOOMP, his welcome mat ignited.

He shrieked and tried to stamp out the fire, managing only to burn his foot. “Ow!” He hopped around in a panic.

“Stand back!” someone yelled. Mr. Stitely looked up to see Jack standing in the front walk, brandishing a watering can.

With a bloodcurdling yell, Jack charged at the fire and upended the watering can, extinguishing the blaze in a cloud of steam. He set down the can and pulled a newspaper from the messenger bag slung across his shoulders. “Here you go.”

“Thank you,” Mr. Stitely sighed.

Jack looked down at the soggy remains thoughtfully. “This wouldn’t have happened if you had a raccoon suit.”