Excellent follow up. It digs a little deeper while not revealing too much. It leaves the reader (or at least me) wanting more. Again I have a minor nitpick- the last sentence of the fourth paragraph feels awkward. I’ve spoken it aloud and I stumble over ‘my heart has something’. I think ‘my heart would have something’ fits better and maybe ‘that wish lies/lays unfulfilled’. Am I overstepping the nebulous good manners of ficly? Let me end again with I like it and I like where it is going.

Again good points. Writing at 2am is not my strong suit, but I’m glad for the advice. Thanks again!

Honestly I am happy to help. I write early in the morning as well (midnight to four am is typically “my time to shine”) and since I really do try to welcome honest, constructive criticism with open arms, I try to do the same for others, so that ficly might improve as a whole. I just try to make sure it is welcome, because unasked for help is rarely a gift for everyone. Good job!

oh, and even better twist!