Excellent entry. Well-written and believable dialogue. I could almost feel the exasperation rolling out of the father. And the ending is nice too although, I can’t tell if that would work to his advantage or not. Minor edit- ‘delecate’ for spelling. And a side thought but I didn’t think about it until now, but in my head hitmen are not soldiers, they’re more like tools; human guns. I guess in my head, soldiers fight and die in combat where as hitmen are assassins, they kill one or two people and disappear. I don’t know if that means anything but it was a thought I had while reading your story, so I thought I’d share it. Good job overall!

the last line leaves me wondering… does the dad know about that particullar preference? hmm.

Haha, what a clincher! Though I do agree with Robert, there is a huge difference between a hitman and a soldier, so you should just clarify which one the dad is.

Still, I love the imagery in this, and I think your have executed it perfectly :D

I love a question that makes my brain go …

I originally employed the word ‘soldier" to stand in for "regular ’made Mafia guy’," but that didn’t hold up as we have seen.

So I googled “synonym for ’hit man” and the synonym web page returned a dozen or so alternate words, one of which was “shooter.”

I have made the change from “soldier” to “shooter” and find that y’all are quite correct.

It feels better.

Goes to show how valuable this feedback is.

:)

wow, that image, does not fit, and the father should let him go to university.. :P nice double twist! i didn’t expect the family business to be hit men, then I didn’t expect the son to be gay.

You had my approval once it said something postive about gays. <3