Wow, this is a great piece of poetry :D

Oh, wow. Fantastic job.

I like this, especially the first and last stanzas, but I’m not sure I get the middle portion. There’s no pattern to the number of lines and rhymes, and a loose rhythm results.

Middle was an odd section.

Pattern of the first part of the middle ended up being something like ABB, CAA… The continuation would’ve been DBB, ECC…etc.
I guess it was too short to convey the pattern.

The second half of the middle, first two lines didn’t rhyme, but had the up/down idea, the neat two lines rhymed. Just an odd little poem I decided to enter.

Thanks for the comments and ratings!

Woah.. I could only imagine the pain. Well it seems more like silent pain
regardless here’s your pencils Rose

I’d echo Jae that the first and last stanzas are very strong. My first reaction to the second stanza was that it was just a little off, but I think the slight miss fits with the theme of the poem – if there were maybe one or two more small disconnects in there, I think that would work just as well as having everything in perfect form.

Reminds me of heroin.

I should elaborate — it reminds me of what I’ve heard about heroin.

I’ve never done the stuff.

I like how both a boy and a drug could fit the symbolism here… interesting poem, I loved it.

Indeed, they could.
Thanks for all the comments!