I slink out of my bathroom and stand slightly to Phil’s right. I draw my sword. I wish I had thought to snap a photo of Phil’s look as my katana slid past his ribs, pushing into his lung, but I can’t go back now.

“WHY?” Phil says falling painfully.

“I told you it had to spill blood.” I say dryly, trying not to laugh, although I want to laugh.

“but WHY?” Phil won’t stop moaning.

“That’s how ninjas roll, bitch.” I tilt my body back and maniacally laugh. I know it sounds crazy, but I can’t stop. This is so amazing. “I thought Original Gangstas didn’t cry."

“but..but…” Phil fights for words, as his body is slowly going limp. "um…I…go…a doctor.”

“Um, do you mind staying on my vinyl flooring,” I say to Phil as I stand in his way. “I don’t want any blood on my rug, thanks a lot.”

Although, Phil isn’t my goofy knight in shinning armor I was hoping for, I did find out that killing a pompous dumb-ass isn’t too hard, and, in fact, I had a ball doing it.