Ah, he finally got what he wanted! Welcome to ficly, and I don’t mean to scare you, but my red pencil was freshly sharpened and it won’t let me put it down..

who’s, not whose.. that quote about the lazy buggers needs it own sentence and exclamation point.. wading, not wade.. and the rest is semantics, like take out one of the ‘faster and faster’s, raced is enough. :)

I was thinking you could throw in a skeleton or two; Maybe a cawing crow or raven, excited that the pit is being used. Details.. it’s all in the details.

Great idea though!

A nice scene and works well as a morality tale about the wages of sin and just desserts. Looks like Elsha beat me to the editorial points.

I dived head first into the large mound of gold.

I don’t think this actually works unless you’re Scrooge McDuck. :)

But seriously, the scene overall is a quite striking idea. I do wish it had a few more sensory details to really let us connect with the narrator.

A worthy entry in the challenge!