Nice setup for a truely creepy tale. For me the linefeed between each sentence took me out of the story. IMHO, I think this would have worked better as complete paragraphs.

I see you modified the story, and for me, it comes across alot more coherent, so I’m changing my rating for this story :)

I thought the last sentence was a little awkward. I would make it something more like “I didn’t know what was coming after me, but I could hear more of them below.”