I like this a lot. The pacing is well done, letting us feel his sense of building dread at calling her, giving the ending punch. If you have the characters free for it, an extra space between the paragraphs would help its readability.
I like this a lot. The pacing is well done, letting us feel his sense of building dread at calling her, giving the ending punch.
If you have the characters free for it, an extra space between the paragraphs would help its readability.
That is my mantra. More spaces, more space, mopre space. I never seem to remember that internal voice though, gah. The space have now been added.
Elizabeth Gallenberg
MrJuggles