The sound of angels singing hymns suddenly filled the room. I grabbed the alarm clock and threw it at the far wall. The hymns stopped.

I got out of bed, and went to the window. My apartment was on the inner ramparts of Dis, and I had a decent view of the entirety of Nether Hell. Today was an especially clear day: I could see the giants ringing the Well and Satan himself locked in the ice. Magnificent!

I logged in and checked my schedule for the week, hoping for an assignment down in Malbowges or Cocytus. No such luck. The Desert of Burning Sand. Again. Fourth week in a row. Terrific.

The Desert was one of the most boring assignments there was. The perpetual rain of fire seemed adequate, and demons never needed to do much of anything. For an ambitious demon like myself, the Desert was hell.

I picked up the phone, and dialed the office. “Hi, this is Belzecue. I’d like to see Bifrons. … I’d like to talk to him about ideas I have for new forms of eternal torture. … B-e-l-z-e-c-u-e. … 11:00? Thanks.”