Let me tell you about my work.

It’s the type of job where if you are woken in the middle of the night, choking on a sweaty gag while a couple of assholes in masks stand around holding sharp objects, you think thank God I didn’t wake up late again. The type of job where you regularly dodge bullets. The type of job where you’re asked to do disgusting things in the name of money.

I’m an accountant.

I account for money and people and random chance. I account for murders and rapes. I account for human stupidity, intelligence, and forgetfulness. I account for all of these things so that other things, things that can’t be mentioned in the barest of whispers, can happen without incident.

It’s a shitty job.