Didn’t your mother ever tell you, “Make sure you put on clean underwear because you never know when you might be in a car accident?” Mine sure did. I don’t really know why it matters, though. If you’re in a car accident, underwear is probably the last thing anyone’s going to be worrying about.

In fact, I know it is because, here I am, pinned under this damn truck, and my lower half looks like it’s been put through a bloody meat grinder.

Always put on clean underwear.

Oh, right, Mom. That’s just fucking hilarious.