There is no way of nobly sitting on a chicken.

Oh sure, they recommend sitting sidesaddle, but have you any idea how difficult it is to sit sidesaddle on a chicken? Or any bird, for that matter?

It’s tough.

I surveyed my fowl steed, hands on my hips, while he examined me with his jewel eyes in reply. He’s polite like that. Impatient, too. The glint in his eye keeps asking me, “Well, are you going to sit or not?”

With a deep breath, after a great deal of hesitation, I tried to climb onto the chicken. Again. There was a foothold in the saddle, but somehow I kept stumbling. I blamed the chicken’s feathers and kept scrambling.

He ruffled his feathers as a sort of sigh, which was just enough motivation for me to swing my leg over the bird and finally, finally, sit in the saddle.

This accomplishment filled me with joy…

… Until I realized I was on the creature backwards.

The chicken shook his head. Typical.