sounds like a serious nightmare! great job, the pacing is awesome and the clipped wordings echo her breathlessness.

I really enjoyed the rhyme in this one— it is well pieced together in there. There’s a dark and heavy heart being conveyed here— like this person is in the throes of death only to be reincarnated in hell when they finally die— Like they are going through an initiation process consisting of pain and bodily desecration as a means of entering hell— like this process is how one gains access— though i wonder if it is decidedly done by the devil, god, or if the person chooses their initiation into hell. At least I wonder that in the world you created, I’m pretty sure I know what the popular religious view on that is…. anyway, good work, PJ.