Sounds very poignant and tragic. You have a few grammar things that are distracting (yes, I know it’s poetry, but ‘it is’ still becomes it’s not its). Could use an editing run through to clean it up is all.

Thanks for the criticism, I knew I had some mistakes, I typed that one quick, and didn’t really proof-read it, sorry but thank you for reading!

Nice piece. It gives off a very pensive, but longing tone, but yeah, there are a few little grammatical errors