I couldn’t help but feel sick, the butterflies in my stomach felt more like a hive full of angry bees. I clutched my shirt and pressed it against my gut as if it would calm me down. I felt a trickle of cold sweat slowly zig-zagging from my left ear. I felt too tired to make myself appear healthy.

“Come on you, chin up!” Vanessa chirped at me.

“I’ve never been better!” I coughed.

She gave me a look as if to say “yeah right” and crouched down to fix my tie. She was wearing a long blue dress, with matching elbow length gloves as soft as satin. Maybe it was satin; I wasn’t sure. I was doing anything to try and keep my mind off what was about to happen.

“Are you sure you’re alright daddy?”

“Like I said V, never better.” At least I sounded more convincing that time.

“Well get up then, you’ve got a job to do!”

I gulped. I hoped she didn’t notice. I’d rather kill a man than go through with this. It felt so wrong! If the choice was mine I’d kill everyone in this damn Church. I stood up and feigned a smile.