A lovely poem, and the title alone drew me in enough to read it. The way you do the line breaks is a bit distracting for me and seems to disrupt what is otherwise a nice flow. Some aversion to standard line lengths and stanzas? I guess I’m just a traditionalist or something.

Putting the line lengths like this helps me read it aloud. It naturally lends emphasis cues and it’s easier to read short bursts as opposed to long lines when the lights and mics are on and my anxiety is pumping.