“The Apprentice: The Movie.”

“How would that make a good film?”

“Allow me to explain. Come closer.”

The suits talking over a Starbucks lunch leaned in closer so only they could her their whispers. God forbid that the air all the stupid people breathed might contaminate the genius that left their lips.

“Okay, so how?”

“We do it the exact same way it’s done on TV, except it’s also a murder-mystery-rom-zom-sitcom-music video.”

“You don’t mean—”

“Yes. Twelve people like you and me battling it out for a dream job with Donald Trump while solving murders and falling in love while laughing at their team leaders who are zombies all to the beat of Lady GaGa’s Pokerface.”

“But what’s this film’s BIG selling point?”

“Easy. Hire M. Night Shymalan as the Director and have it twist at the end that Trump is a zombie in disguise who is able to live as a human by turning the brains of the living into money. Only he hasn’t been born yet and he’s actually an alien.”

“Will there be a game tie-in too?”

“PS3 exclusive.”