“You still don’t know everything though.” I told her and my face got red as usual when she looked troubled. How was I going to get through this? “You know most of it, but there’s more.”

“Then you’d better get it over with.” already the tears were right there, cracking her voice. “What else don’t I know? I need to know everything.”

“So you know your Mom died of one or more of many possibilities. Lots of alcohol, but also the pills, at least three kinds in addition to the meth and the coke.” She nodded impatiently, I had to go on. “And though I was doing a lot of the same shit as her, I knew she was getting into trouble. I watched her pass out so many nights where she just drooled and bled out of her nose like a draining corpse. And I gave her all of the drugs she did. I bought her the booze.”

“All of it?” Dee asked, all out crying now, her voice squeaking at the end “that whole laundry list of… of SHIT was yours in her blood?”

“All of it.” I said, my face numb. “And I slept with her, and she was dead.”