Just enough of an open end to be able to write a sequel. good work

very dirty! one is left wondering what answers he needs..

Well, well, well. Pyro, I’m wondering what you might have just started here. I liked the dark, macabre mood of this.

Very good. Very raw. i love chemistry, albeit a dark one, between the two characters. but pyro is right.. there is an opening for a sequel, but it reads very well as a stand-alone story!

Awesome.

Thanks! I’m finding the format here great practice for writing flash fiction, so I’m glad it stands alone. But hey, if anyone wants to run with it, go ahead! I’ll save it for my online serial (where I stole the characters from). Sooner or later. :)

April, this is really good – I love the rawness. I do have a few questions (not criticisms). When I first read it I wasn’t sure about the time period (I don’t read tags for some reason, need to start) and then I googled stola to see it’s from ancient Rome. Then I noticed that the tag says “vampire”. Did I miss something, or was there nothing to meet? (I’m wondering if the “entering” at the end was something different than where my mind went). Either way, it’s awesome. Great scene.

okay… I just reread and I think I get the vampire thing… not so good with subtlety first thing in the morning! :)

@Nancy – I tagged it ‘vampire’ before I wrote it, didn’t end up being as relevant as it might have. The characters & setting are taken from a longer piece, hence the Roman & vamp references. Hope that makes a bit more sense. :)

Sexy. If I were a river, I’d be totally wet right now.

I love the flash-fiction aspect of Ficly as well, though I’m thinking of using it the other way around — to find characters I love and turn them into longer, more intricate stories.