I liked the comment about the balloon, gave that extra something.

Impressive, you really bring a sense of animalisation lust across.

The unprovoked response is what made it a good story. Just the sight of someone, no impetus, and the lust is there.

I’m just wondering where you would go with it. Whether you’d take it further and turn it into psychological horror, or dial it back into introversion and reflection.

The ‘years it had been restrained’ is interesting. Is it just green eyes that bring the monster out?

Hi both – thanks for the feedback! Really appreciate it! Had great fun writing this – taking an every day situation and blowing things up.

I haven’t really considered where this should go next. Both options are still open for now. My gut feeling says it’s most likely to end up pretty darkly – the main character I tried to sketch has had a series of bad relationships, and has some serious trust issues. Because of that, he’s tried to keep his instincts locked away, focussing instead on simply getting through the days. This incident is probably not the first time he’s done battle with this side of his personality – he knows how the beast inside thinks and acts. But on further thought: the quiet introspection of what happens during that train ride – the struggling to find something to say to break the ice, possibly leading up to further events, deserves some exploration as well.