Good morning and Welcome to the first Kavateekar Climate Change and Control Conference.

I am Erasmus L. Kavateekar, your host. I am Honoured that so many of you could join me on my Secluded Island Home. I’m sure all of you must be eager to get to Business and present your Latest Research. Unfortunately I must inform you that the Itinerary has been Changed slightly.

If you note the rather Large men by the doors, you will see that there is No escape. This afternoon you will be Taken to the Laboratories built into the Dormant Volcano that your pilot pointed out during landing.

There you will find all the equipment needed to Perfect the Kavateekar Climate Control Ray. I hope that you will consider this to be simply an extension of your Important Work. We will then Blackmail the World into De-Industrialisation, I think that you will see this is the only way to save my Green and Pleasant Island from the Coming Apocalypse.

You will find a Buffet Lunch at the Rear of the auditorium, please Mingle and have Fun.