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Still Awake After All These Years (A Tribute to Jack LaLanne)

It’s 2am.

Jack LaLanne is on TV, still selling that damn juicer.

Dude’s got to be over 90. Funny; he doesn’t look a day over 75.

Now, he’s juicing a potato.

Seriously.

Who the hell wants to drink a potato? Tasty, starchy potato juice.

Thanks, Jack. But the only potato juice I want to drink has been fermented, distilled and had a Russian label slapped on it.

Oh shit. He’s doing push-ups. One handed.

Hell, I don’t think I can do one of those. Maybe that’s got something to do with my love for Russian potato juice.

I should go to bed.

Here’s the clip reel of all Jack’s phenomenal feats of strength. He’s swimming from Alcatraz to mainland San Fran. He was 60. He’s handcuffed and towing a dozen boats full of people in Miami. He was in his 70’s.

This man is a goddamn national treasure. He’s going to live to be 100. He’s going to live forever. Like the Highlander or some shit.

I’m really considering buying one of these juicers.

It’s 3am. I’ve got to work in the morning.

Fuck it.

What’s on Skinemax?

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